School has begun

And I'm not quite ready for it.

I'm excited about school, don't get me wrong. But my study habits are horrible right now. I'm not sure if it's just me finding distractions, (internet, movies, games), because I don't WANT to study, or if it's because I actually have a problem concentrating. I'd like to believe I have a choice. But then that just means I'm lazy.

I will work on it after I write this up. I promise.

Oh, speaking of resolve, I finally knuckled down and marked some things off my TO DO list today. I made an appointment with my doctor for a physical and some other check-ups, created two excel charts for my peak flow (asthma) and monthly budget, and I contacted NMT to try and figure out the scholarship thing.

The staff at NMT have been amazingly responsive, (compared to the bullshit I get from local colleges). I sent the e-mail out at 2pm, and received the first reply at 2:13 then the next at 2:20. Impressive! I also had very quick responses from the admissions office and residential life. I am being spoiled!

Here we go again...

How many weblogs have I had now? Too many to count. And for too many purposes to count, too.

I won't go over past details too much. I want to focus on the present. And right now, I'm feeling bored and slightly lonely. Lonely isn't the right word for it, though. Isolated would be better. Or even anti-social, though maybe not that one in the strictest sense. I haven't been going out as much as I'd like to. I attribute this to the fact that I'm not in school yet and I have no real pressing, urgent goals to meet. During times like this, especially summer, god do I hate summer, I tend to become very sedentary.

I would like to see my friends more regularly. Right now, the only time I really speak to people is at the infusion center, and even then that's very limited. I'm not sure starting school will help much, since I transfered to Mission College. At least at De Anza I knew a few folks that could keep good company. This quarter will be one of loneliness and apprehension, I fear.

I'll be leaving for New Mexico in the fall, if all goes as planned. I don't know how I feel about this. It's very complicated in my head, but written out it seems as clear as day. Why shouldn't I go? Because I would prefer UC Santa Cruz. But if I'm not willing to do what it takes to get there, what choice do I have? It's very depressing to think about moving again, just when I'm getting accustomed to the bay area. Just when I'm starting to create a life here.

New Mexico is a new adventure. I'm just not sure I'm ready for one yet.